Weddings from a Guest's Point of View

Quilt bidding stands at $275, and bidding ends next Thursday, November 21, at noon.  I'll check my e-mail, Facebook, and combox then.  Good luck!

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The most stressful, anyway

I was at the hair salon waiting for some highlights to come to life under a heat lamp,  and there was nothing to read but a magazine called, "Martha Stewart's Weddings."

So I read about current trends in weddings.  It was all pretty luscious, pretty pricey.

But the more I read, the less it became about money and the more it felt like an unbelievable, consuming amount of work.

Poor brides!  It's amazing what a huge, stressful project a lot of them take on!

One bride scoured vintage clothing stores to find an antique dress for each of six bridesmaids:



Each one different, each "sourced" by the bride.

 

If I had been  a guest at this wedding, I would never have appreciated the effort the bride went to, and I might even have thought--bad me--"hmm, all those old-fashioned nightgowns."  Now that I look at the picture, I see each has a different colored ribbon, another thing the bride had to figure out.

 

Then there's what seems to be called a "suite" of bridal stationery: an arty invitation, reply card, and thank you notes:

 

Think of the decisions!  All coordinated.  Note the embossing.

And the cake, with its "mood" and "look":




Pomegranates!  Can't see the cake for the well-thought out array of decorations.

 

The colors on this cake coordinated with the bouquets, tablecloths, invitations, favors, and bridesmaids' dresses. (Again, the work!)

 

Or how about this?  "Enliven the lapels":

 

Each guy should get a different boutonniere?

 

 As an Experienced Wedding Guest,  I'd like to tell all these overworked, stressed-out brides is that no one notices all these details.  At least I don't.  (Or Jerry, who guts out the ceremony, waiting impatiently for what he calls "the conception," where the food and drink are served.)

 

I notice the vibe of a wedding, whether or not the bride and groom are having fun, whether people feel comfortable--which I will not if I have to dress up too much, which includes wearing Spanx.  Please keep it casual.

An $8000 Oscar de la Renta dress that probably requires uncomfortable underwear

Instead of coordinating all this stuff, I want to tell brides, why not just include whatever you happen to like, a random collection of things you'll be comfortable with?  It'll work, and it will take less effort, less worry.

 

And forget as many of the proscribed "traditional touches" as you can.  Favors, for example.  No one will miss them.

 

But so many young women--from toddlerhood-- are told it's the most important day of their lives that of course they're going to want perfection.  And perfection is always hell to shoot for.  (I remember when I was about 5 singing "Here Comes the Bride, the Princess, the Ballerina--can't get more glammy-ultimate than that.)    

 

Here's my wedding cake in 1977: 

 



 

1977

 

 

Notice the bouquet on top of the cake?  Here it is today:

 

 

2013

 

Probably no guest remembers what this looked like.  I had to look at a picture to jog my memory, and I'm the bride who fretted over it.