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| The Tide stain remover pen was not up to the gore |
So at 4:15 this morning, I'm sitting on the edge of the bathtub in Jerry's bathroom, typing in "How to Stop a Nosebleed" on my laptop, which is balanced on top of the laundry hamper.
"Do not tilt head back," I read. "Lean forward and pinch nose where the bone meets the cartilage. Breathe through your mouth."
He complies.
"Do this for 15 to 20 minutes," I went on. "Do not stop to check."
He stops to check.
"It's still bleeding," he says.
I bring a clock into the bathroom. After 20 minutes, he stops the pinching. Still bleeding. Another round of pinching, another check: Still bleeding, though not as heavily. At the beginning of the third round, I say to hell with it and call the Anthem Blue Cross advice nurse.
Could I please put Jerry on the phone so he can give permission for her to talk to me? she says.
"It's okay," he mumbles into the phone, through a wad of tissue.
The nurse asks me several questions and decides we should go to the ER.
I report back to Jerry.
"No," he says. "We'll have to wait forever."
By now it's 5:20 am. I decide to call his doctor for a second opinion. A colleague of hers calls back. She says we need to go to the ER.
"It's a slow time right now," she adds helpfully.
"She says you have to go," I tell Jerry.
"It's a waste of time," he says. But he stops pinching, stuffs tissue into his nostril, and gets dressed.
I throw on some clothes, coughing because I'm still sick.
He sits to put his socks on. Then he checks. The nosebleed has stopped.
"I don't need to go," he says firmly.
In the meantime, Jerry falls asleep sitting at his desk and somehow prints three pages of the same phrase.
By four this afternoon, The Consumptive (still coughing) and The Former Bleeder managed to round up some much-needed groceries at Berkeley Bowl.
1 comment:
Brisk Nurse is up to the task. Glad all is well.
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