Courtship (?), Millennials Style

 

 

 

Yesterday I had a plan to throw a few Christmas decorations around the house.  Leah said she'd come over to help.

But I hit a wall before she even arrived.  Couldn't face fishing things out of boxes in the basement, moving luggage out of the way to get at them. Not in the mood.

Last summer
 

So when she got here, Leah fixed herself a whiskey sour, I had plain water, and we got into a discussion on how today's young people get together in the romantic sense.  (She's 21.)   

Stage One:  Eye flirting, or "sticky eyes."  This could take place at a party, for example.  An attraction.

Second  Two: Talk 'n flirt.  Probably at same party.

Stage Three:  Weird talking/texting.  An awkward intermediate stage that could happen over days or weeks.   Will things proceed?

Stage Four:  Hanging out.  Sometimes you might make an arrangement to hang out; sometimes it just happens.

Stage Five:  Things are more than hanging out and just possibly a date.  Or not.  A very confusing stage moving toward more formalized getting-together.

Stage Six:  Dating.  Either party can initiate this.  It may imply monogamy, but not necessarily.

Stage Seven:  Boyfriend/girlfriend status.  A deliberate decision.  Big step.  This could go on for years.  Usually monogamous, but not always.

After I wrote this all down, I felt sorry for Leah and her group.

Me:  "This sounds awful!  Too many gray areas."

Leah:  "It is awful.  There's a big movement in my generation's culture to be really, really casual."

Me As Suspicious-Second-Wave-Feminist:  "I suppose this works to the guy's advantage, casual sex, etc."

Leah:  "Not always.  Sometimes girls use it.  They say they thought it was just a "hang-out" when a guy they're not really interested in thinks it's a date."

Are you glad you're old?


Leah helping to decorate my tree when she was nine