Grown Apart

Today I read that Heidi Klum and Seal, whom I know nothing about except that they have odd names, are separating after seven years of marriage.  In their statement, they say, "We have had the deepest respect for one another throughout our relationship and continue to love each other very much, but we have grown apart." [my italics]

Oh, hell, what's the real story?  Who's having an affair, shooting up, or drinking too much?  You have this apparently ideal marriage, renew your vows every year, and then, bam, you're separating?  You "continue to love each other very much"?  Really?

I'm going out on a limb here, but I think people don't "grow apart," the much-used euphemism, if they a) keep talking about how they feel and b) make their relationship paramount.    Growing apart, and all the trouble that follows, begins when people aren't talking about how they feel.  It took me a long time to learn this, and I needed (we needed) some professional help.  You're feeling sad, glad, mad, scared?   Do not flip open your computer or switch on the TV or make a phone call.  Do not invoke deadlines at work.  Stop what you're doing and talk. (Reminder note to self.) 

In the meantime, Heidi and Who-sit:  People have put you on a pedestal of your own building, and you owe it to them, after all the showy affection, to tell them what's really going on. This is a teachable moment.