Side-Stepping into Grandmotherhood

For Baby Addison

I just became a step-greatgrandmother.   One of Jerry's grandsons became a father last week (I would include a photo of the baby, Addison, except that it seems to be beyond my skill set).

I draw the line at step-great-grandmotherhood--I mean, c'mon--but this baby is very cute and deserves an addition to her Birth Trousseau.  Yesterday while I was in Nordstrom  returning a bunch of clothes, I peeked into the baby department.  I was seduced, of course, and bought a little outfit,  although it took me a long time because, believe it or not, the baby clothes in Nordstrom are organized not by size but by designer. The sales associate approved my choice, saying it was "awesome."

My sister and me with Eddie, who called us "the kiddies."

I had a step-grandmother, a character named Eddie, whom my grandfather married just before I was born.  In the family, she was viewed as a Piece of Work and also as very fat. Looking at photos today, I don't think she was particularly fat, just a plumpish old lady who didn't particularly like kids and who had a string of eccentricities.

She loved birds and had one called "Pretty Boy," which she let fly around the house when we visited at Christmas and other holidays.  Sometimes Pretty Boy left his "calling card,"  as she put it, but no matter. They often beak-kissed.

Eddie and Grandpa talking to Pretty Boy, on top of his cage

Eddie also had an odd idea of what to buy for Christmas gifts (she preferred cash for herself). It was not unknown for my mother and aunt to unwrap multiple boxes of Kleenex wrapped in kitchen foil. She also favored the kinds of things advertised in infomercials, contraptions you didn't know what to do with, and then they broke. My parents and my aunt put up with her, but talked about her behind her back. My grandfather seemed enamored and even went along with Pretty Boy.


My sister and I would check out as often as possible during these visits. We'd investigate the spare room, where Eddie kept her stash of pulp magazines. Crime, crime, and more crime!  Perfect reading for children!  One article was titled,  "He Cut Out Her Heart and Stomped On It."  The "her" was a babysitter, which was nerve-racking.  We had a lot of babysitters.


I plan to be a benign step-greatgrandmother (or whatever the hell I am).   Addison is welcome to visit us, and maybe we'll go  to Texas to see her.  I hope she doesn't think I'm a piece of work,  just a lady who buys overpriced confections in the children's department and who will definitely not call her a "kiddie."