Debate on Mute

Presidential debates always make me nervous, but I don't like to miss them. What to do? Watch on "mute," which is what I did last night:

6 pm--Settled comfortably in chair. Turned on TV, muted.   Jim Lehrer appeared (paisley tie?), then the candidates, Obama in blue tie, Romney in red.

6:02-6:20 pm--Dozed intermittently. Woke up and blue tie was talking; woke up again and red tie was talking.

6:25 pm--Woke up for good. Romney's American flag lapel pin was bigger than Obama's. What mean?  Romney trying too hard?

6:27 pm--Noticed that Romney gesticulated more, looked more animated than Obama. Bad sign?

6:32 pm--Worried. Called my friend Claudia, who I knew was actually listening. She said Romney was maintaining that he's going to "lift up" the middle class, NOT cut deficit in ways that which might harm them. Confused. Hung up.

6:45 pm--Jerry arrived home, depressed about golf game but gleeful that the A's won three straight against Rangers. Someone was going to have to fly to Texas for one more game, couldn't follow.

6:48 pm--Back to debate, still on mute. Obama looked serious, earnest, but gesticulating more. Wedding band looked wider than Romney's.

6:52 pm--Turned on sound briefly. Romney was talking about Medicare and vouchers. Instantly muted him.

6:58 pm--Jerry commented that Romney has supercilious smile.

7:12 pm--Clicked back to sound and instructed Jerry to pretend he's an Ohioian: would he listen to this and vote for Romney? Jerry said, no, Romney seemed naive.

7:20 pm--Very frustrated with Romney's give-it-back-to-the-states routine. Broken record! Where would the money come from? Jerry commented that Romney seemed very coached, then dozed off.  

7:25 pm--Noticed that Romney's hair was inert.  Didn't move! Looked like Laura Bush's in that way. Wondered if there's a special Republican-formula hair spray?

7:27 pm--Jerry and I yelled in unison at Romney, "*****!" Anxious for it to be over so we could eat dinner.

7:28 pm--Home stretch. On "mute" again. Watched final faux earnestness from Romney,  tipped off by up and down motion of eyebrows. Wondered if he dyed them.

7:30 pm--Over! Michele's mouth tight while greeting Romney Family Group. Shields and Brooks said that Obama's debating skills were "rusty." Romney "comfortable and confident." Panic!

As it turned out: