Stingy or Setting Boundaries? One of Those Days at the Food Pantry

I'm back from the Berkeley Food Pantry, where I volunteer on Mondays, and I'm mad at myself and mad at a client.

I'm mad at the client, who helped out because we were understaffed today, because he spent a fair amount of time "shopping" in the pantry, seeing what he could take, including an apron I bought for one of today's absent volunteers.  The director asked if he wanted to wear it.  No.  He just wanted to have it, maybe to present it to his mother.  As far as he was concerned, it was there for the taking.

He almost made off with one of these aprons, which I bought for volunteers and take home with me every week, because otherwise they'd walk (@ $20/each.  Am I setting boundaries or being stingy?

Near the end of the day, he picked up the two bags of groceries he was entitled to and left, but while I was helping other clients, he came back in.  I found him shopping in the back room, where the food's kept.  Anything would do.  He just wanted more.

I've seen this happen sometimes with other client-volunteers--not all of them by any means, but some.  I know intellectually that this stems from deprivation, a terrible feeling of lack.

But it still irritates me.

And I'm mad at myself for being irritated.  Surely if I can understand intellectually why a person who's short on food--and probably so much else--is on the look-out for free stuff, I can rise about my irritation?

I do rise above it and usually look the other way, but at times I call a halt, as I did today because the director had had to leave early and couldn't police him.

"You already got some of that in your bag," I said to him.  "You have some."

He dropped whatever he had in his hand and scooted out the door.