Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Cupid May Not Be O.K.

From women friends I've talked to,  ages 23-60,  I've concluded that online dating is a very dicey business.   Here's my completely subjective report,  based solely on the experiences of heterosexual women:

1. A man may look at a woman's online photo, comment favorably on her profile, and then do nothing about it.

2. If you approach a man about getting together, he may respond.  Or not.  His preliminary interest may mean nothing.

3. After you write off a guy due to unresponsiveness, this person may materialize weeks later, say you should get together, and then disappear again.

4. You can do e-mail with a guy, lots of back and forth, but when you suggest getting together for coffee or a drink, he may never be able to find the time.

5. If you do meet, he may turn out to be considerably shorter than he indicated in his profile.  One friend took to asking  whether a guy was really the stated height and stressed that she is 5'7" and always wears 3-inch heels.  Was he as tall as that?  Or you may not care about height.  Most men, however, care about slim/slender/thin.

6. You may meet a man for a drink or coffee or lunch,  things may go very well, and you may never hear from him again.

7. You will likely spend hours analyzing what various e-mails, voicemails,  text  messages, and disappearances mean.

8. Some women do find good men through online dating.  I've heard of two cases.

9. The deck is stacked against women.   There are many more women than men looking online,  and one friend was told by a man that "it's like being in a candy store."

Sigh.  Even though  I'm not looking for someone, I'm ticked that men seem to have the advantage in this realm.   Women need resilient egos or frequent time-outs to endure the constant scanning and rejection.  I'd love to hear a man's side of this.

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