Remembering Marian

2013

Yesterday I duded up (a dress, no pearls) and went to a memorial service for my friend Marian.  She died at the age of 90  on May 20,  after four months of being tethered to oxygen in hospitals.

I love the part of memorial services where people talk about the person who died: the talents, foibles, idiosyncrasies.  Whether the speakers are scheduled or impromptu, it works for me.  Let's share! But yesterday there were no speakers, no chance to offer memories of Marian, so the sheet with the notes I'd jotted down remained folded up in my purse.  I felt a bit cheated by this, although heaven knows, it's a choice left up to the family.

So here are my notes:

When Marian hired me as a part-typist in Entomology in 1974, and I don’t think either of us anticipated it would lead to a 40-year friendship.  

 

Marian and me at my farewell party in Entomology, 1981

 

I worked for her for only seven years, but during that time I married one of “the men” as she used to refer to the professors because there were no women professors at that time,  and the fact of the marriage continued to mildly blow her mind right up until my last visit with her, two weeks before she died.

 

I made this list of the things that said “Marian” to me:

1.  Saying “My dear!” with a raised eyebrow

2.  Exclaiming “Sartorial splendor!” to any professor wearing a tie

3.  How she saved every postage stamp she came across to add to her collection “later.”  (Did "later" ever happen?)

4.  Peppery

5. Indefatigable

6.  Fun!

7. Devoted to her job.  Jerry said to say there was no one before or after who was so conscientious.

8.  How she’d run downstairs to the vending machines to get a Snickers bar if the workday got too  hairy and then feel guilty about her diet.

9.  The time I went with her to choose a 1977 Ford Granada

10.   How she told me was nothing better than sitting under a tree taking alternating bites of banana and orange.

11. She was adventurous in retirement--traveled often,  especially to see gardens.

12. Her scarves and her Ferragamos

13. Her garden club

14. Her Desert Rose dishes:

Prized

15. Devotion to Cal football and the Cal Band

16. She was a role model for growing old gracefully, yet actively

17. I will miss her.   

Talking to my dad at my wedding, 1977