So, here comes a copy of Bon Appetit in the mailbox. (If only they knew--I'm the last person they should send a complimentary copy of that magazine to.).
I flipped through it and found an article "modern manners" for Thanksgiving by Ben Schott. Some tips seem helpful, some pointless. See what you think:
For hosts:
- Always invite a non-family member to lighten the atmosphere. I agree. The more, the merrier.
- Don't tell guests when dinner will be or some will arrive at the last minute. Really?
- Bathrooms should be well stocked and absolutely spotless. I guess that's a no-brainer, but it shows what an octopus-like commitment hosting Thanksgiving Dinner is and why I try to get out of it whenever possible..
- No scented candles. "Roasting turkey and stuffing should be the only aromas." Least of my worries.
- Don't carve the turkey at the table. For God's sake, why not? Norman Rockwell shows it that way.
- Suggestions for non-alcoholic drinks: sparkling apple cider, cranberry or cherry juice and seltzer, iced Earl Grey tea. And two things I've never heard of--please enlighten if you can: Blenheim ginger ales and homemade vinegar shrub.
- How to seat people:
And for guests:
- Never arrive empty-handed, even if the host tells you to bring just yourself. Schott's suggestions: candied fruit or caramels; pumpkin-seed brittle; granola; artisanal white bread; really good bacon; small potted herb, such as lemon thyme.
- Resist the temptation to bring wine, unless asked. Alternatives: good olive oil, vinegar, or liquor. Not sure I agree with this--even if the hosts have chosen wine for the dinner, they can drink it another time, when you're not around and they've unbuttoned their waistbands.
- Never surprise your host with food that requires oven time. Boy, do I agree with this one.
- Ahead of time, feel free to Google guests you haven't met. This is supposed to break the ice, but won't you look nosy if you seem to know too much?
- Thank the host within 12 hours via phone call, text, e-mail. I vote for e-mail.
We're going to the Claremont Hotel for dinner--yay! Remodeling got me off the hook this year. But there's even advice for slackers like me: Tip like Sinatra.
And for everyone: don't be banal or offensive, argumentative or rude. (Doesn't it sound boring? Or just peaceful?)
Happy Thanksgiving! We're still here, and Obama's still President.
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